How do I set up a phone or computer for a child safely?
The controls worth setting up, and why the conversation matters more than the settings.
- Difficulty
- beginner
- Time
- 1 hr
- Read
- 2 min
- Safety
- caution
Short answer
Set up a child account rather than using controls on an adult one — it gives you age-appropriate defaults and proper oversight. Then agree the rules together, because no filter is complete and they will use other devices.
Parental controls are worth setting up and they are not a solution on their own. They handle the accidental encounters; the deliberate ones and the ones on a friend's phone are handled by the child knowing what to do.
Safety
Step by step
- Create a proper child account.Both platforms support child accounts within a family group, with age-appropriate defaults, purchase approval and screen time reporting. Far better than applying restrictions to an adult account.
- Set the age accurately.It drives the content defaults across the whole system and the app store. Setting it wrongly to avoid friction defeats the entire arrangement.
- Turn on purchase approval.Every purchase and download requires your approval. It prevents both accidental spending and unsuitable apps in one setting.
- Set content restrictions in the app stores and streaming services.Each service has its own. The system setting does not cover them all, and streaming services in particular need setting up separately.
- Set up web filtering, and know its limits.Both platforms filter at the system level, and the home router may too. Useful for accidental encounters, not comprehensive, and easily bypassed by a determined teenager.
- Agree screen time rather than imposing it.Downtime schedules and app limits work far better when the child was part of the conversation. Imposed limits get worked around; agreed ones mostly hold.
- Have the conversation that matters.That they will not be in trouble for telling you if something upsets them, if someone contacts them, or if they see something. This is the control that works when the others do not.
- Review it as they get older.Controls appropriate at eight are patronising at thirteen and counterproductive at fifteen. Loosening them deliberately is part of the arrangement.
Tips
- Keeping devices in shared spaces does more than most software settings, particularly for younger children.
- Set up the child's account before giving them the device, not after. Retrofitting is much harder and involves taking things away.
- Check the messaging and gaming apps specifically. Contact from strangers usually happens there rather than on the open web.
Questions people ask
What is the most effective parental control?
A properly set up child account with purchase approval, combined with an agreement that they can tell you about anything upsetting without being in trouble. Filters handle accidents; the conversation handles the rest.
Do parental controls block everything?
No. They reduce accidental exposure and are bypassable by a determined teenager, and they do not apply on other people's devices. Treat them as one layer.