How do I drink less without making it awkward?

Drinking less in company is rarely difficult because of other people. It is difficult because of the small mechanics of rounds, empty glasses and having to explain yourself.

Safety

Step by step

1. Always hold a full glass.An empty hand invites an offer, every time. Something non-alcoholic that looks like a drink removes most of the situation before it arises.
2. Decide before you go out.How many, or none. Deciding in advance is far easier than deciding repeatedly during the evening, when the decision keeps getting harder.
3. Have a one-line answer ready.Driving, early start, on antibiotics, taking a break, training for something. Short, said once, no detail. Explaining at length invites debate; a flat answer ends it.
4. Do not justify it.You are not obliged to give a reason at all. Most people ask once out of habit and move on immediately if you do not make it a topic.
5. Get to the bar first.Buying your own round means you choose what is in your glass without a negotiation, and it takes you out of the round system for a while.
6. Handle rounds directly.Say early that you are out of the round, or buy one and drink something soft. Rounds are the single biggest driver of drinking faster than you meant to.
7. Alternate with water.One soft drink between each alcoholic one. It halves the total, slows the pace, and nobody notices what is in the glass.
8. Order something that looks like a drink.Soda and lime, a tonic with ice and lemon, an alcohol-free beer, a proper non-alcoholic cocktail. Appearance does a surprising amount of the work.
9. Drink slowly and put the glass down.Pace tends to match whoever is fastest in the group. Setting the glass down between sips breaks that without any effort.
10. Eat first.It slows absorption and reduces the point in the evening where the decision stops being deliberate.
11. Expect one round of comment, then nothing.There is often a brief remark the first time and then no further interest. Anticipating that makes it much easier to sit through.
12. Have an exit plan.A time you are leaving and a way home. It is far easier to hold a limit when the end of the evening is already decided.
13. Tell one person if it helps.Someone in the group knowing you are not drinking makes the whole evening easier and quietly deflects offers for you.
14. Get proper help if it is more than social.If you cannot stop when you intend to, or you drink daily, speak to a GP or contact Drinkaware. Stopping suddenly after heavy daily drinking can be dangerous and needs support rather than willpower.

Tips

• A full glass of anything prevents most offers. It is the single most effective thing here.
• One short reason, said once. Elaborating turns it into a discussion.
• Get out of rounds early. They are what pushes the pace past what you intended.

Common mistakes

• Explaining your reasons at length — A detailed justification reads as an opening for negotiation. A short flat answer is accepted immediately and almost never followed up.
• Staying in the round system — Rounds set the pace by the fastest drinker and make it awkward to slow down. Buying your own removes the whole problem.

If it doesn't work

Questions people ask