How do I reduce the cost of having children?

Family costs are dominated by a small number of large items, mainly childcare and housing. Equipment and clothing feel expensive but are a much smaller share, and are also where the easiest savings are.

What you'll need

• A list of current costs (optional)
• Local support scheme information (optional)

Step by step

1. Check every support scheme you might be eligible for.Childcare support, child benefit, tax-free childcare, free early years hours. Substantial amounts go unclaimed because people assume they do not qualify.
2. Compare childcare options properly.Nursery, childminder, nanny share, family. Costs differ enormously and so do the support schemes that apply to each.
3. Buy almost everything second hand.Children outgrow clothes, toys and equipment long before they wear out. Local groups, charity shops and marketplaces are full of nearly-new items.
4. Buy car seats new, or from someone you trust completely.This is the main exception. A seat involved in a collision can be compromised invisibly, and you cannot verify a stranger's history.
5. Resist buying ahead.Equipment for stages not yet reached is often never used. Buy when needed — second hand means you can buy quickly when the moment comes.
6. Borrow and share within a network.Equipment used for a few months — moses baskets, bouncers, stair gates — circulates well between families and costs nothing.
7. Sell things on as they are outgrown.It recovers a meaningful proportion and keeps the house manageable. The same items sell readily because everyone needs them.
8. Focus on the large recurring costs.Childcare, housing and food dominate. Optimising equipment purchases matters far less than getting the childcare arrangement right.

Tips

• Libraries, toy libraries and free local activities cost nothing and are often better than paid alternatives at young ages.
• Children's clothing sizes run inconsistently. Buying second hand lets you buy the right size at the right time rather than guessing ahead.
• Support schemes change frequently and eligibility is often wider than people assume. Check annually rather than once.

Common mistakes

• Not checking eligibility for childcare support — Substantial help goes unclaimed because people assume they earn too much or that it is complicated. Checking takes an hour.
• Buying a second-hand car seat from a stranger — A seat involved in a collision can be compromised invisibly, and you cannot verify the history. This is the one item to buy new.
• Buying equipment ahead of the stage — Much of it is never used, or the child skips that stage entirely. Second-hand availability means you can buy when you actually need it.

Questions people ask