How do I move house with young children?

The logistics of moving with children are manageable. What is harder is that a move is a large change for someone with no say in it, and most of what helps is about predictability rather than organisation.

Safety

Step by step

1. Tell them once it is certain.Not while it might fall through, and not the week before. Children handle a known change far better than an ambiguous one, and a long uncertain period is harder than a short definite one.
2. Show them the new place if you can.A visit, or photographs and a video walkthrough. Seeing their room, even empty, makes it real in a way that being told does not. Walk past the new school and the nearest park too.
3. Be honest about what changes and what does not.Their bed, their toys, the family, the routine — say explicitly that these come too. Children frequently assume possessions or pets are being left, and nobody thinks to say otherwise.
4. Give them a job.Packing their own box, labelling it, choosing what goes in it. Involvement converts something happening to them into something they are part of, and it works better than reassurance.
5. Arrange childcare for moving day.Grandparents, a friend, nursery. It is faster, considerably less stressful, and safer — moving day has open doors, heavy items and adults who are not watching. This is the single most useful arrangement to make.
6. Pack their room last.So they have a normal room for as long as possible. A child living among boxes for a fortnight has nowhere that feels settled.
7. Keep an essentials bag with you.Not on the van. Pyjamas, a change of clothes, toothbrush, medication, nappies, snacks, and the specific toy or blanket that matters. Vans get delayed and boxes get lost.
8. Do not wash the comfort item before the move.It smells of home, which is the point. This sounds trivial and it is a real thing.
9. Unpack their room first.Before the kitchen, before anything. Bed made, familiar things out, a lamp on. A child with a finished room in an unfinished house copes far better than the reverse.
10. Keep the routine on the first night.Same bedtime, same story, same order. Everything else is different, so holding the routine steady is what makes the night survivable.
11. Sort the school and health registrations early.School applications, GP, dentist and health visitor. School places in particular need arranging well before the move, and the timing is often the constraint on the move itself.
12. Expect regression and let it pass.Disturbed sleep, clinginess, accidents in a child who was dry. Normal after a move and usually short. Treating it as a problem to solve tends to extend it.
13. Make the new place familiar fast.Same pictures on the wall, same bedding, the local park in the first few days. Familiarity is built from repetition rather than from the house being finished.
14. Look after yourself too.Children take their reading of a situation from the adults. A calm household matters more to how they experience the move than any of the preparation.

Tips

• Let them decorate their moving boxes. It takes an afternoon they would otherwise spend underfoot and makes the boxes easy to identify at the other end.
• Photograph their old room before packing. Children ask about it later, and it helps them place the change.
• If a school move is involved, ask whether they can visit before starting. Most schools will arrange it and it makes the first day very different.

Common mistakes

• Having children present on moving day — It is slower, more stressful and genuinely less safe — open doors, heavy items and distracted adults. Childcare for the day is the most useful thing to arrange.
• Unpacking the kitchen before their room — A finished bedroom in an unfinished house settles a child. An unfinished bedroom in a finished house does the opposite, and the first night sets the tone.

If it doesn't work

Questions people ask