How do I leave a dog alone at home without it being distressed?

Two different problems look identical from the doorstep. A bored dog chews the skirting board and settles once it has; an anxious dog begins to panic within minutes of the door closing, and the damage is concentrated at exits. They need different responses, and the only way to tell them apart is to watch. Everything else here depends on knowing which one you have.

Safety

What you'll need

• A phone or camera you can leave recording
• Food-based enrichment such as a stuffed toy or lick mat
• A baby gate (optional)
• A dog walker or day care (optional)

Step by step

1. Film the first thirty minutes before doing anything else.An old phone propped up, or a cheap camera. Watch what happens in the first fifteen minutes specifically. A dog that circles, settles and sleeps is fine. A dog that pants, paces, drools, scratches at the door or vocalises within minutes is distressed, and the plan is different.
2. Rule out the physical first if it started suddenly.A dog that has coped for years and suddenly cannot is a vet appointment. Pain, cognitive decline in older dogs and conditions that increase urgency to toilet all present as new separation problems.
3. Start with departures so short they cannot fail.Step behind a door and come straight back. Five seconds. Then ten. Then thirty. The whole method is that you always return before the dog gets worried, so it never rehearses being frightened. Several short sessions a day beat one long one.
4. Break up the departure cues.Pick up the keys and sit down. Put your coat on and make a cup of tea. Do this dozens of times without leaving, so the signals stop predicting the departure and stop starting the anxiety before you have even gone.
5. Add minutes gradually and inconsistently.Two minutes, then thirty seconds, then five, then one. Varying it stops the dog counting up towards the point it dreads. Expect this to take several weeks to reach an hour with a genuinely anxious dog.
6. Make leaving and returning unremarkable.No long goodbye, no emotional greeting. Ignore the dog for a minute or two on returning until it is calm, then say hello. Big departures and arrivals raise the contrast between with-you and without-you, which is the thing you are trying to reduce.
7. Set the environment up to help.A walk beforehand so the dog is genuinely tired, a comfortable bed away from the front door and the window onto the street, and something to do for the first fifteen minutes — a stuffed frozen toy or a lick mat, which is exactly when anxiety peaks. Background radio helps some dogs.
8. Keep to the four-hour guideline.Most adult dogs should not routinely be alone for more than about four hours. A puppy at eight weeks manages minutes, not hours. If your day is longer than that, the answer is a dog walker, day care or a neighbour rather than a longer training programme.
9. Do not use a crate to contain an anxious dog.A crate is useful for a dog that already loves it as a den. A dog that panics when alone will panic harder when confined, and dogs have broken teeth and claws trying to get out. Use a room with a baby gate instead, so it can move.
10. Get professional help if four weeks of careful work makes no difference.Ask your vet for a referral to a qualified, accredited behaviourist. Separation anxiety is very treatable with a proper plan, and in some cases medication prescribed alongside behaviour work is what makes progress possible.

Tips

• The first fifteen minutes tell you almost everything. If the dog settles in that window, it will usually be fine for the rest.
• Chewing that is spread around the house is usually boredom; damage concentrated at doors, windows and the exit route is usually anxiety.
• House soiling by an otherwise clean dog when left is a distress sign, not a lapse in toilet training. Cleaning it up without comment is the correct response.

Common mistakes

• Telling the dog off for the mess on your return — The dog cannot connect a telling-off now with something it did an hour ago. What it does learn is that your return is unpredictable and unpleasant, which increases the anxiety that caused it.
• Getting a second dog to keep the first company — A dog with separation anxiety is usually anxious about being without its person, not without company. It frequently does not help, and it can teach the new dog the same behaviour.
• Making a big emotional goodbye — It heightens the contrast between you being there and you being gone, and often starts the anxiety before you have left.
• Building up in hours rather than seconds — Every departure the dog spends distressed rehearses the panic. Progress comes from never letting it happen, which means starting with seconds.

If it doesn't work

Questions people ask