How do I cater for different dietary requirements?

The instinct is to cook the usual meal plus a separate alternative, which is more work and makes someone the exception. Building the menu from dishes most people can eat, with additions rather than substitutions, is easier and much more comfortable for everyone.

Safety

Step by step

1. Ask directly, in advance, and in writing."Is there anything you can't eat?" A message means people can answer honestly without an audience, and you get it in time to plan.
2. Separate allergies from intolerances from preferences.An allergy is a safety matter requiring no traces. An intolerance is about quantity and comfort. A preference is a choice. All are worth respecting; only one is dangerous.
3. Design the meal around what most people can eat.A main that is naturally free of the common allergens, with the additions served separately, feeds everyone from one dish. Cheese, cream, nuts and breadcrumbs on the side rather than stirred in.
4. Make the sides substantial.If someone cannot eat the main, generous vegetables, potatoes and a good salad mean they still have a proper meal rather than a garnish.
5. Prevent cross-contamination for allergies.Separate utensils and boards, cook the allergen-free portion first, and watch shared items — butter with crumbs in it, oil that fried something else, a shared serving spoon.
6. Read labels, and read them again.Mustard, soy, wheat, milk powder and nuts appear in unexpected places. Stock cubes, sauces and gravy granules are the classic offenders.
7. Label what you serve.Small cards, or just tell people as you put it down. It removes the awkwardness of having to ask about every dish.
8. Keep the packaging until the meal is over.If anyone reacts, knowing exactly what was in something matters. It takes no effort and occasionally matters enormously.

Tips

• Ask what they normally eat at other people's houses. People with dietary requirements usually have a straightforward suggestion and are relieved to be asked.
• Naturally free-from dishes usually taste better than substituted versions. A vegetable dish that was always vegan beats a roast dinner with the meat removed.
• If you cannot confidently avoid cross-contamination for a severe allergy, say so. Most people would far rather bring their own than be reassured incorrectly.

Common mistakes

• Treating an allergy like a preference — Traces matter. A shared spoon or the same frying oil can be enough to cause a serious reaction.
• Making one person a separate, lesser plate — It is more work for you and singles them out. Build the meal from things that suit everyone instead.

Questions people ask